I have been asked to update you all on how things are going here. First, I want to start with a laundry list of thank you’s. Thank you, first and foremost, to all of you who have been praying for me. I would not have made it through this time without you. I don’t think anyone will ever know (including me) just how much your prayers carried me through. Thank you also to those of you who encouraged me. The emails, comments on my blog, phone calls and cards we all wonderful. It’s good, when you feel isolated, to know friends are out there caring about you. Thank you to those of you who made dinners for us. All of you from Olympia to Vancouver to family who stayed with us, dinners have been more of a blessing than you can imagine. It’s just one thing I cannot handle right now, and your generosity has truly blessed our family. And thank you to all of you who came over and took care of me and my family while I have been so sick.
Then last time I blogged I was in one of my lowest times of my entire life. I felt hopeless, alone and very overwhelmed. I found myself at a point of not being able to function at all. Luckily, I have an amazing husband who stepped in and rounded up family and friends to come to take care of me and my kids while he worked. Somehow God gave him the strength and energy to work long days, take care of me, and do all of the things around here that I usually do. He does the dishes, gives the kids baths, takes them to church, goes grocery shopping when necessary and does the entire bedtime routine with the kids. He has also been seen doing laundry and putting milllions of toys away. And he has managed to do it all with an amazing attitude and a constant smile. He is eternally patient and giving. What would I have done without him?
Like I said, he called in family and friends to help. And those family members and friends are angels. They feed my kids, get them dressed, deal with their little person drama and do everything I used to do as a healthy mom. They even took care of me, cleaned my house and made us dinners.
As for me, I found myself without anything to cling to. So, I went away. Family came and I packed a bag and got myself to the nunnery. Literally. I spent three days at a Benedictine Priory near where we live. What an experience. They call what I did a “personal retreat”. And what a retreat. The sisters want each person who visits to be able to hear from God in the way they need, so you are left very much alone. I had a room with a bed and a sink and a bathroom down the hall. Nothing planned, no distractions, no one to talk to. Just me and God left to wrestle like Jacob. I spent a lot of the time sleeping and throwing up (after all, I am very pregnant), but the other time I spent reading Beth Moore’s book “Get Out Of That Pit”. I was a little hesitant of easy Christian answers, but that’s not what it was at all. God spoke to me directly through that book and restored my hope in a way I cannot even explain. Those three days were extremely boring, very hard, and life-changing. Since then, God has been continuing to work on my heart and head, and he’s slowly bringing me back to living in truth and hope.
So I came back from that with hope, a renewed outlook, and an extremely queasy stomach. Just because I felt better emotionally, didn’t mean I felt better. I’ve been sick. Really sick. Worse than with either of my other two pregnancies. Let’s just say, if I only throw up once in a day, it’s been a good day. And even though I’m almost 13 weeks, the sickness is still going strong. We are hoping for it to end after 14 weeks, like it did with both my other kids. I could still use prayer for that. We still have people helping, since I get sick and tired easily, but I really am doing better overall.
I’ll keep you updated more regularly now - since I’m no longer zombie-like, and I have a little more energy. Thank you to everyone out there who cares about me and is praying me through this.